I’m feeling very violated currently. If you hurt me, I expect you to apologize. .whether or not you think my feelings are justified. As someone in a relationship that is even more important because the emotional health of your partner depends on it.
For someone who has so many rules of engagement for interaction and so many hoops for me to jump through, he refuses to honor hardly any of my preferences.
He frequently demands apologies for things I don’t feel I should apologize for. I do it anyway.
He demands those apologies be delivered in a certain manner. I do it.
I frequently apologize for things that I know have upset him proactively.
He seldom apologizes to me.
He had temper tantrums that rival the most stubborn 5 year old.
He considers me asking questions having issues with him. Examples he gave me yesterday:
Asking “where are the glasses? ” is an ok question.
Asking “why is the butter out? ” is a fault finding, fact finding mission that qualifies as having a problem with him and is unacceptable.
I’m not allowed to have issues or complaints but that’s all he has with me.
He wants to say he wants me to have a day with no issues with him. I try very hard, we snuggled for two hours this morning. We wete doing great until I sat on the bed next to him and he complained about my body odor. Normally I shower first thing but I didn’t today. I shower twice a day but I have issues as a bigger girl. He knows I shower every day, twice a day. Yet he made a comment despite my asking him 3x in the past week not to. Then I tell him he hurt my feelings and he doubles down.
I asked him to apologize and his responsne was to say “I’m sorry that you got butt hurt over my being upset that your odor was so rank it made me nauseous and I found it offensive. ”
I refused to accept that. I’m done accepting sorry, abusive and shitty behavior out of him.
He threatened to hit me this weekend. I was trying to have a conversation and he tried to throw me out of our bedroom, after he locked me out. Note to self, I need a narrow screw driver for our doors. When I refused to leave he said “go away from me or I will knock you flat on your ass and you will be out cold. ”
My response was to tell him to go ahead and hit me and I would end our relationship right then and call the police and send him to jail for assault. He told me that no judge would convict him after the way I treat him.
After that he told me that he is trying to effect change in my behavior and my refusal to take correction is appalling.
I responded that is not 1952 and not his job to correct me. That is reserved for my dad and my boss. To which he called me a reprobate.
Last night I told him it is ridiculous that he is so controlling and I refuse to be controlled. His response was that is what will destroy our relationship. I don’t understand being this way at all.
I’m just so hurt. b I feel like I was deceived.